Well. I’m settling into my new accommodations. I can’t believe that I am here and everything seems to be working out fine. I guess I’ll have to see how things go. They have gone quite smoothly so far–so I can’t complain. Well. One thing. Apparently, the vineyard management company sprayed sulphur on the vineyard last week. I usually open a window during the night so I get fresh air and air flow (two things really important in my good night’s sleep).

Apparently, I let in the sulphur fumes. Although, I didn’t know it was sulphur. It smelled like burning rubber or like someone left leather gloves on a radiator or a heater (I’ve never done that!!!). I kept waking up thinking somewhere, somehow, the entire house was burning down. At one point, I even had visions of my car in the driveway spontaneously combusting and bursting into flames–and that’s what the burning rubber smell was. So. It is a new house. A new environment. A new situation. When you’re half asleep, the smell could be anything.

Now, a week later, the two dogs that live here smell like dog AND sulphur AND I can’t tell if there is a wee bit of skunk mixed in there too. Whatever it is, they simply reek. AND, when I go out to feed them, Tania circles around my legs. Around and around. I can’t get her to stop. So, when I ‘m done feeding them, now I smell like dog and sulphur.

How alluring.

My parents like ABBA…the group ABBA, from Sweden. This is one amazing fact I found out about them on their trip to visit me this Christmas. WOW. I was so amazed. I even called my sisters to tell them. And, yes Nat, I was drunk when I called you. Sorry. But we were having fun!

Apparently, Mum started liking ABBA when she went to see Mama Mia with my older sister in Toronto a few years ago. I don’t know when my Dad started listening to them. But, I am still amazed! Growing up–we were never allowed to listen to that “ya ya shit”.

I can remember when we started listening to ABBA. It was in the late 70s. The Whalens, family friends from Newfoundland, were baby-sitting us all summer. They also had three kids: Lorrie, Katrina, and Stenine. All of us spent the summer in the basement listening to an ABBA album (probably Arrival, because I specifically remember the song: Dancing Queen). I think we all (the three Burke girls) had a crush on Lorrie.

The next summer, my sister Nat aquired two ABBA LPs: Super Trooper and Voulez-Vous. All summer long we would listen to her two ABBA albums on a red and white portable record player.

Years later, when I lived in Ottawa, a group called Bjorn Again visited Barrymore’s. Barrymore’s is a great venue to see live bands. It’s an old, converted movie theatre and is just the right size. Bjorn Again was incredible. It was just like seeing ABBA live. If Bjorn Again ever come to your area…get your Go-Go boots and skirts out of the closet and don’t deny that disco!

I hate that-when I wear the wrong tights. I should just give them away so I don’t keep wearing them. There’s actually nothing wrong with the tights, they are just too big for me–too long. They were brown tights. I wore a brown top, brown tights, brown shoes with a pink skirt and jacket (my Ally McBeal suit). I thought everything was going well together until I arrived at work.

I stepped out of my car and discovered that my tights were wrinkly around my knees and my ankles. Damnation! Now I would spend the entire day surreptitiously trying to pull up my tights. I’d be walking down the hallways at work, doing a stupid jiggy walk trying not to let them fall down and create wrinkly knees. Why on earth would I want wrinkly knees? I’ll get them soon enough I’m sure. Then, I would get to my cubicle and pull them up–one wrinkly leg at a time. My strategy was just to stay in my cubicle all day. Stay seated so the tights don’t wrinkle.

Imagine if I’d pulled the entire set up around my chin? And walked around the hallways like that. I could use my finger to make bbbbbb noises with my lips–like I had just gone a tiny bit crazy. They’d put me in an institution for sure. Maybe–, just maybe, they’d give me medical leave. Hmmmm….

Happy Brand-New Year! I know I’m a bit late, but my parents were here. We were doing stuff and having fun. So. I’m saying it now. Happy brand-spanking New Year!

This is going to be a year of new things for me. New identities. New locations. New experiences. New people. I saw the In Style magazine on the rack at the supermarket the other day. The headline was: Jennifer’s Fresh Start. It is cool to see your name in the headlines. As if my life is anything compared to Jennifer Aniston’s. But, I had to buy it.

This is my brand new year. 2006 – Starring Jennifer C. Burke as herself–HA!

Well, Readers (and I know you are out there even if you don’t leave comments), here is a starter list of stories you can expect on this blog this year:

• I have a great story about hand sanitizer. It’s pretty embarrassing, but pretty funny. On this note (because the incident actually took place in the Alaskan wilderness in an outhouse), I also have a few extra stories about outhouses (Yukon toilet humour!).
• I have another story about the weirdest things I’ve ever eaten. Can anybody top hermaphrodite moose?
• I have some stories about growing up in the Yukon. A colleague at work the other day asked about the coldest temperature I’ve ever experienced. Last Christmas, when I visited my parents, it was pretty damn cold. The mercury doesn’t even come out of the bulb at the bottom of the thermometer at -50 C.
• I have a photo documentary on how Californians make wine in their garages. Oh. Not to mention the continuing Polaroid collection of coffee makers in my life.
• I have a smattering of other colourful stories–mainly about me, my family, or just my everyday experiences. I will also update everybody on what happened during the FIVE WEEKS when my parents were here visiting me in California. Too bad it rained for a good portion of that. We apparently had 163% of the annual rainfall. Chantel, I took the Little People to Death Valley, Vegas, and the beach so there will be a few entries on them.

Welcome to 2006. We got lots to do. Let’s get it started.