He used to lean over conspiratorially at the dinner table: Psstt…Psst. Want to hear a dirty joke? And our friends (no matter who they were, he named Charlie Brown) would look up eagerly and say: Yeah. And nod their head.

No grown-up had ever told them dirty jokes.

My Dad would motion them closer and he would lean in, and in a whisper: A white pig rolled in the mud.

And then he would laugh his head off at the expressions on their face. And they would try to figure it out.

A white pig rolled in the mud.

–snort–

My Dad gets on the phone tonight: Jennie. Jennie. I have to tell you this joke. He’s laughing but gasps out: Bertrand told it at the dinner table the other day. And if there is anything my Dad likes (besides my Mum and KFC), he likes Bertrand’s jokes. He gets the added enjoyment of hearing Bertrand tell these jokes adding his Quebecois accent, his hand animations, and his very, very Bertrand expressions. I can’t even begin to describe them here. (Note to self: get out that audio equipment).

Meme, voila! Sans l’accent Quebecois. Sans les mains animee. Sans Bertrand. But none-the-less. Here goes:

A new teacher starts her grade three class: Good morning class. My name is Ms. Prussy. I’m your new teacher. She writes it on the board and underlines the “r”. Remember that. Prussy. Ms. Prussy. Let’s start by learning everybody’s name.

She goes through every student on the list one by one and learns each student’s name.

The next day she says: Good morning class. Do we remember everybody’s name from yesterday?

The class is silent. Some students nod their head. But most remain silent. Well. She says. Can you remember my name?

More silence.

She prompts. Remember I told you to remember the “R”?

She waits. And a boy at the back of the class pipes up: Ms. Crunt?

I asked my Mum how Dad proposed to her. She was a bit surprised but said: Oh. He asked me at Christmas that year.

That year? That year? What year?

Oh umm… 1964. Yes. That’s what we planned.

You planned it? I ask (a bit incredulously). You planned your own proposal?

Yes. She says matter-of-factly. We planned it at the end of October on that camping trip. Then he asked me in front of my family that Christmas Eve. With a dozen red roses or so. Then we were married at the end of July in 1965. You’ve seen the pictures.

Yes. I wasn’t born until 1972. Of course I’ve seen the pictures. A few years ago, my parents had their 40th Wedding Anniversary. I blogged about it.

PS: for inquiring minds, my oldest sister was born in 1967–two years after my parents were married. I have to ask my Dad about the romance thing.

I’m calling my girlfriend in Yellowknife today. I’ve been calling her every Sunday for the last few weeks. She’s known me from forever. It feels good to talk to someone who’s known me forever. I feel grounded.

We’re talking about our lives and what we want our lives to be. We’re talking our old relationships and what happened. Although, we’re both over them now–over the relationship introspection thing. We’re talking about putting ourselves out there again. We talk about our expectations and what we perceive as other’s expectations.

She gives me homework assignments. Like last week, I was supposed to flirt. Ok. I thought. Hmmm. Flirt. That doesn’t seem so difficult. Get the flirt on.

Except. How the hell do you flirt? Maybe I’m not interacting with anybody I’d want to flirt with. Maybe an opportunity hasn’t presented itself. Maybe…maybe I’m just feeling so pressured–because it’s homework–that I just don’t see any opportunity.

Maybe I’m doing too many things that I don’t have any time to think about the idea of flirting. Flirting doesn’t come naturally to me. Or it doesn’t when I have to think about it. I know, because when I haven’t been thinking about it, I’ve gotten myself in a lot of trouble.

My friend says: Exactly Jennifer. That’s the whole idea.

I start asking my girlfriends: What’s romantic to you? What is your idea of romance?

Three out of three answered: spontaneity.

My girlfriend in Yellowknife answered: “If he just called up in the middle of the day and said: Dress warmly. I’m taking you out. And then if he came and picked me up on a skidoo and we went ice fishing all afternoon. That would be romantic.

My cousin Nik says: A picnic after a hike out at the lake. Just walking and talking and spending time together with the forethought of a picnic. That’ll get you some nookey.

Mine? I don’t necessarily have anything specifically romantic in mind. But I know some personal thought, a bit of effort, and witty banter go a long, long way.

Oh. Wait..that’s two plus me. I guess I’ll have to keep asking. I’m certainly going to ask the boys.

[unfinished post...I have to find my links]

Fawn tagged me yesterday with a meme. I didn’t know what it was, so I looked it up. From the internet Wikipedia, a meme”…consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, practices, habits, songs, dances and moods and terms such as race, culture, and ethnicity. Memes propagate themselves and can move through a “culture” in a manner similar to the behavior of a virus.”

So, I have so many things to blog about and I’m behind with everything, but in Fawn fashion, “..today I am ignoring all that because I got tagged with my first meme.”

This is the “7 Things” meme, and here are the rules:

1. Link your tagger. Post the rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself (random or weird)
3. Tag 7 friends
4. Leave a comment letting them know they have been tagged.

Now, I’ll have to see if I can think of seven things you might not know about me…

1. I grew up a Mile 906.8 Alaska Highway, just south of Whitehorse, Yukon. My parents currently live in Mary Lake. I love them so much, it hurts when I think about them. Growing up in the Yukon has defined my current world view and expectations of people in general. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

2. I lived in France for about two years in my early twenties. I loved being there. I dream about living there again.

3. I built a wooden kayak in 1998. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever created. And yes–it floats. It kicked butt. I sold it last year.

4. I’ve always wanted to be a writer for a living. I’ve been writing technical documents since 1995. I have struggled to do other things with moderate sucess. However, I always go back to writing…because that’s what I do. However, I think I may have just found a plan to transition where I can write and still make a living–so I’ll be working on that.

5. I love the CBC. CanCon rules!!!

6. I lived and worked at Bush-Field Estates Vineyards and Winery on top of Sonoma Mountain for a year and a half. Alan gave me a safe space to live and rebuild my self-esteem after my divorce. I learned a lot. And when I needed to, I left. I wouldn’t change that experience for the world (although I would have done a few things differently). But that’s life. Live and learn.

7. I have two things that make me borderline OCD: I like my towels rolled up AND colour-coded in the linen closet. And that makes me a hypocritical freak because every other part of my life is complete and total chaos. And, my keys on my key chain have to be ordered longest to shortest with all the smooth sides on the same side. And when a key doesn’t have a smooth side, I sigh and put it in the correct place according to it’s length. AND the fact that the key has a dual-edged jaggy bit drives me crazy for a few days until I get over it.

Seven people I can tag are:

1. Rachel Ferguson: I know Rach through her parents, Glenn and Donna. When I lived in Ottawa, and I was all about kayaking, we spent a lot of time together. I’m proud of her accomplishments.
2. Vicky James: A girlfriend from when I lived in France. I have to get in touch with her again.
3. Leanne Chan: I’ve known Leanne since before she was born. However, I didn’t meet her until Christmas of 2006.
4. Cindy Cabrit
5. Lori B
6.
7.

That story of being a good woman reminded me of one time when I worked at Turin Networks. It was a Friday afternoon and I was visiting the Customer Service guys in their area and we were all sitting around talking (and probably having that end-of-the-week drink of somebody’s wine). A phone rang and the owner answered it. It was his wife. She needed him to come home and help hang curtains.

He got up and said: Gotta go guys–or my Honey Do list will get longer.

I heard: honeydew…and I asked: What’s a honeydew list? And the five guys in the lounge turned and looked at me a bit dumbfounded. And as I said honeydew, I realized it was: Honey Do.

Oh. I laughed. I get it.

Maybe, I joked. Maybe that was my problem. Maybe I don’t have Honey Do lists and that’s why my husband and I were having so many problems. I told them. Hmph. I’m from the Yukon. If something needs done. I do it. Not only that. If I need curtains hung, first I make the curtains. Then I hang them.

I got five simultaneous proposals for marriage.