I’m not much of a believer in Hallmark occasions–like today–Valentine’s Day. I am one of those people who is likely to forget the actual day on the day–but I do remember it–eventually. For example, I remember my neice and nephew’s birthdays–usually a few months either before or after the actual birthday, but I do remember it. I send them presents or I send them a card. I think they like to receive the extra attention on a day when it is not actually their birthday. When I was in university, I routinely remembered to send my parents their Christmas presents in March. And once, when I was married, I remembered my husband’s birthday far too late and ended up buying him a ham at the all-night grocery store. And now, you might smile and nod your head and think: “Ah Ha. Recipe for disaster. She bought him a ham. A ham for his birthday.”

But it was a funny story. It’s not a great story and I am kind of ashamed about it, but it is quite funny. I remembered that it was his birthday too late to get him anything special–and I was doing the grocery shopping. I bought him a ham. I thought I could get home and give it to him and say: “Hey Hubby–how ’bout we ham it up on your birthday?” And then we would laugh our heads off at the ridiculousness of receiving a ham for your birthday. I wasn’t even planning on preparing it in any way–I just thought it would be funny to give him a ham for his birthday.

Nope. A definite recipe for disaster: One husband. One birthday. One raw ham. Not quite the right ingredients and I don’t believe I ever redeemed myself. So–if there is one thing I can say to all those people out there who are thinking about last minute gifts for Valentine’s Day–don’t buy the ham. It’s not going to get you anywhere.