Charlie told me about an interview he once had. He’d been asked this question: If you were a piece of winery equipment, what would you be? He answered that he would be a pumpover device. I had to ask what a pumpover device was. Apparently, it’s the piece of equipment that pumps the wine over the skins in a fermentation tank.

And he had reasons for his answer. But I can’t articulate them, because I didn’t write them down when he told me and because I don’t have the vocabulary of the wine industry. But I thought about that question and wondered if I were a piece of equipment, what piece of equipment would I be?

I don’t feel like I can identify with any piece of office equipment. Especially in telecom. I guess that says something right there.

I sort of felt like I could be a big piece of JCB equipment (excavator maybe)… I feel more comfortable with that. But, in the end, I decided I completely identified with a Swiss Army knife.

If I were a piece of equipment, I think I would be a Swiss Army knife.

Small.
Compact.
Incredibly useful in any (or almost any) situation.
Functional.
Practical.
Low maintenance.
High performance.

I’m not talking about the all-in-one Swiss Army knife. I’m just talking about a regular one. The run-of-the-mill Swiss Army knife. The one you would throw in your backpack for an expedition. That’s me right now. At least, that’s what I was thinking on the way home after lunch.

A while ago, I blogged about being Chardonnay. I remember I liked that description. I’m still working on it.

The Swiss Army version of me would definitely have a corkscrew.