Living Out Loud

My Friend’s List…

My friend sent me her list (which is more of a personal essay), but it is still her list of qualities she’s thinking about.

Beware..Friend..You’re now out there on the internet. It’s not so bad–once you get used to it, but some people know you and some people don’t. The people who know you will now know more about you. And that’s all I have to say about that!

Here it is readers, my friend’s list on the qualities in her ideal life partner:

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Hello Jennifer,
Here it is “the list” sort of. It is open, unplugged and out there, also not sure I want the family reading it, but here it is…maybe they know someone who fits!

Right now, he is imagined–but the chemistry, it will be real.

The dare. – Your turn! (Done…see entry below)

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The Imagined “Ideal” Man…

This started out as a list: Characteristics, personality, physical appearance. But it is evolving into a rambling essay of characteristics, behaviors and random events. It’s probably incomplete, people often end up with someone with characteristics they weren’t expecting but you need to have a basis to work with, change and form as you move forward. So to start: my imagined ideal man is down to earth and lives an active lifestyle. Sounds simple enough but let’s go down that path… He needs to be outdoorsy; and not in that trendy, gotta-wear-Gortex type of outdoorsy way, but that back-to-nature, respect-for-animals, type of outdoorsy.

He is passionate about life, world visions, local issues and me. He is comfortable in his own skin and appreciates the beauty of the human form and a good woman’s curves.

My man knows what’s important to him and how he would define a successful life; the love of friends and family, and knowing that life and love are not in the things we buy but in the people that love us.

He is smarter than me at something and he is physically better than me at some something, but not everything. His devilish sense of humor sets a twinkle in his eye but he is never mean.

Then there are the basics that need to be considered; cooking, kids, and sex. How does my ideal man rank? He can cook – or at least BBQ. He might even enjoy cooking with me. Kids? – maybe. But even if not; there must be a similar (no, not necessarily the same) belief in the things that are important when raising a family, the things like time shared, rules, and being “parents”.

My guy likes to touch. And no, I do not mean groping, I am talking about the unconscious hand at the small of your back, sitting close, and holding hands. He must appreciate physical intimacy and enjoy great sex. Most guys will tell you that’s them, however, there is a difference in the touch and the way my guy talks about the closeness to me. My guy knows that I am always different and today I may want, or do I dare say need, sweet, sweet love – but tomorrow I may want him the second he’s through the front door. I have a friend who calls it “sexually bipolar” – yes, that’s how I want my man to be.

People talk about tall, dark, handsome and all that jazz but my man is attractive to me and there is chemistry. Yes, nice shoulders to support the frame and a nice butt; definitely. Nice butts however, come in all forms and it is the whole package that I am looking for – did I mention chemistry?

Other friends have suggested that the imagined ideal man is “new or used, but not borrowed”, I disagree, for me the ideal man is slightly used or he would have no character.

So, my imagined ideal man summed up in a few inarticulate words? Maybe, but nothing can describe the character, the intimate understandings, the warmth of his touch, and the longing in my heart. No – my man cannot be defined by a label or by words, he is the moment and my everything.

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