• Skip to main content
  • Skip to site footer
  • WordPress
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

YukonJen in Switzerland

A blog full of memories

You are here: Home / The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer 2006 / GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED

GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED

24 April 2006 by YukonJen

Here is a little humour in this world of Breast Cancer. My sister sent this poem to me in my email today (probably) because I am going to walk the AVON walk for Breast Cancer in San Francisco in July. Anyway, I thought I would post this poem on my blog. It’s funny. It’s relevant. It’s important.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
“OK,” I said, “let’s do it.”
“Stand up here real close” she said,
(She got my boob in line),
“And tell me when it hurts,” she said,
“Ah yes! Right there, that’s fine.”
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it’s viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
“Take a deep breath, she said to me,
Who does she think she’s kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
“There, that’s good,” I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
“Now, let’s have a go at the other one.”
(Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I’ll bet SHE’S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone “ker-pow!”
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I’d like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…..OK, now that you have had your laugh, remember…Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! And pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends, everybody and anybody who can be affected by breast cancer.

Remember to click the pink button above to support me in my effort to help find a cure for breast cancer. My goal is $1800 US dollars for the walk. I’m going to be walking from San Francisco to San Jose (40 miles over two days).

Related

Category: The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer 2006

About YukonJen

Previous Post:Does that horse look like a llama?
Next Post:Man-O-gram

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Inspiration

“Every day is another chance to get stronger, to eat better, to live healthier, and to be the best version of you.”

Recent Posts

Where to pick your own fruits & vegetables in Switzerland
Mountain bike above Vevey, overlooking Swiss & French Alps
Fresh local producers in Swiss Romande
YukonJen_biking_MtPelerin

Copyright © 2025 · YukonJen in Switzerland · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme