My Dad adopts a dog’s outlook on life

My dad pops up on Skype video now. My computer rings and every time I click the red telephone to answer, I say: “On screen.” And the video starts.

The other day, my Dad appears on screen and he’s pissing himself laughing. 

“Jennie.” He snorts through his snickers. “Jennie. I’ve decided to adopt a dog’s outlook on life.”

Alright. I wonder what he’s going to say next. The first outlook that comes to mind is that saying about…”If you’re not the lead dog…”

“No.” He says. “No.” He’s still snickering. “If you can’t eat it, if you can’t seduce it, piss on it.”