She was out in the bush for two weeks. I’d called last Sunday and we just chatted about how to feel feminine if you are out in the bush with a group of guys. She just said: “I don’t.”
Then she also clarified: “I don’t think I’d want to be a girl out here. Where would that get me? I have to work with everybody back in Yellowknife.” Then she said something interesting. She said that when you’re out in the bush for so long, people you’d never find interesting under normal circumstances start looking interesting. She giggled. And THAT’s when you know you need to get back to the real world.
Then we talked about a few things we do to feel feminine. “As soon as I get out of the bush,” she says, “I take a bubble bath. With wine and candles and aromatherapy and everything. And I clean up from being in the bush. I soak. I wash all the grub and smoke off. And shave.”
We talked about shaving for a minute and discussed that we both like clean-shaven men. We also talked about who should get a hair cut and a shave and how a trim and a shave takes a guy a long way (from being non-interesting to making us do a double take–quite literally).
We also talked about tips and tricks for shaving. Girls know what I mean. We all talk to our girlfriends about what works and what doesn’t work and we recommend beauticians who treat us well. And we’ve all had a terrible, horrendous experience at one time or another. So we talk and laugh. And I guess, we just bond. We bond over girl talk.
Then I asked her: “When you are just one of the guys, at which point are you a girl in a group of guys?” and, “Do you talk girl-talk to a guy friend?”
I don’t. Well. I don’t anymore. I’ve had to learn what is girl-talk and what is girl-talking-to-a-guy talk. And–well vice versa. And believe me, I had to learn the hard way. I now I like to think I have a better filter.
My friend did some research on her own.
If you are a group of girls and there is one guy, it’s ok to talk about things like bubble baths, bikini lines, and shaving legs.
If you are one girl and one guy (and he is not gay), that’s a borderline conversation. It’s a flirty conversation. Because it gives him a visual. Because if the guy is spending time with you and you are both single, there is a HUGE chance that he’s hoping that he won’t be single for too long. Or minimally, he’ll get to hook up with you.
So basically girls, beware if you are talking one-on-one with a guy friend. Know if you think he’s a friend or if he thinks he’s a potential boyfriend. Be careful you don’t say anything that will give him a visual (unless you want to of course). Because…you’ll know when he brings it up again that it was a HUGE mistake. You’ll know by the way he mentions it. You’ll know by the look on his face. You’ll just know. And you’ll feel betrayed. You’ll feel ick. You’ll feel like you lost a friend.
Which is usually exactly what happens.
We did wonder though–Do guys need girl talk? How do they figure things out–if they don’t talk about it?
She did research the other way too. Girls, if you’re just one of the guys–don’t talk about body fluids (yours or theirs). That is apparently TMI.