Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all your yesterdays are disappointed
For lack of cookies. Out, out, filtered coffee!
Life is but a mere shadow of sallow youth,
That struts and frets for lack of a wee sweet treat.
Fear not! Dark chocolate-covered tea biscuits
Shall linger in the vicinity of my top drawer.
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
My wit and love of everything literay are wasted on binary people!!!! Someone thought I actually wrote this–well, I wrote a bit of it. Mostly, I was incredibly surprised that he didn’t know where it came from. Maybe I just have too high of expectations. Maybe it’s a cultural thing.