What do you do with a doily?

A few days ago, my friend writes to me:

“WTF do I do with a doily?

I was given a crocheted doily, and so I gracefully accepted it with thanks. That was a few years ago. Now, I’m doing a big purge. And, I’m wondering who the hell wants a doily? Who buys these things? Who uses them? Why were paper ones invented? And, when?

I can’t even sell this doily on ebay – there’s one up there for .99 cents + free shipping, and people aren’t buying.

Any suggestions for what to do with a doily? Apart from donating it to charity?

I googled “doily history” and struggled to keep myself awake. Even the history of the doily is BOOOOORRRRINGGGGG!!!!”

I wrote back:

“Ha ha ha ha ha….

I inherited TWO doilies from my grandmother. I don’t know what to do with them either. I just keep putting them in my sock drawer because I am afraid to throw them away–because they were my grandmother’s.

I am with you though: WTF do you do with a doily?”

Today she wrote back. Apparently her husband is turning 50 this year. She was wondering if he would choose between regular fitness classes or fitness classes for those 50+. Or when he would consider asking for a senior’s discount. (I don’t imagine this conversation was going well). But she tried to flatter him by saying he would “would lead hearts to flutter amongst the blue-haired set”–which then led her think of a solution for her doily:

“So, I now have an idea–albeit inappropriate. So, if you’re feeling prudish – don’t read further.

Doily use: Pasty in role playing sex games
Required: 1 doily and 1 blue-haired old lady wig

Whisper, “I’m wearing nothing but a doily”

Snort!

What do YOU do with a doily?